welcome to the fulfillment of a dream...


this album would not have been possible without the love & encouragement from:

     my best friend & love suzanne

     my brother mateo

     my parents abe sr. & lyn

     my band of brothers brian, rusty, wix & paul


     all of the incredible artists & friends 

     who have each brought me a lifetime of inspiration



she is everything i'm missing grounded in truth & perfect for kissing

they fear reaction & taunting the strength for them to accept me is lacking

*our love grows stronger with time but they say I'm not worth a dime

exchanging truth for fear in their mind naked leading the blind*

i am irony's bastard son already lost when i haven't begun

i used to think that this would just go away

clean itself up without leaving a stain

our love cannot die for stupidity's sake

i won't go away



need self help pull some books off of the shelf see the feelings i've denied myself so long

need to cry so dramatic want to die exposing all the actions i do wrong

second glance take a chance find romance

*wonder if my love can see i'm beginning to feel twee i've forgotten how to be with a girl like you*

what a fool so dramatic i'm a tool i'm blinded by my insecurities

poster boy for denying myself joy now's the time that i get off my hands & knees

longing glance final chance still i can't

get over yourself foolish boy get out of your head foolish boy get on with your life foolish boy



i met her long ago feels like yesterday she had somewhere to go i asked her if she'd stay

cause oh oh no you can't take her away from me

she radiated joy she made me feel complete i felt like a little boy my heart still skips a beat

cause oh oh no you can't take her away

*my love takes my breath away this world's brighter every day*

she is my one true love she is the purest light sent here from above our future feels so right

cause oh oh yeah cause she's gonna stay

the way you laugh behind your smile effortless your head up high

to be near you & to hold you forevermore


this is too much for my head my face is turning red red red

'cause i feel you & i need to choose you but i am a fool

*try as i might i'm a weakling boy holding on hard to a perfect joy

& like a pawn with a broken past i am the one who gives in too fast*

afraid i've crossed the line aware i cannot turn back time

but i want more my heart's sore either or i shut the door

i'm out of control...

i am the one who gives in too fast i am the one with a broken past

i am the one i crossed the line i am the one who can't turn back time

i am the one i lost control i am the one


what is wrong with me i cannot express clearly

all i feel is numb like a drone purposefully dumb

am i just impatient am i just defeated

*run away as fast as you can i'm becoming less of a man

afraid your heart dissolves in my hand i'm becoming less of a man*

feeling hurt & torn by giving parts of me i can't afford

could responsibility bring myself some sort of meaning

am i just indifferent am i just frustrated

i'm sorry you know i fall short sometimes


lost another friend today thought he was strong he threw his life away guess i was wrong

seems a waste to want to cry but still i do destroyed & angered but my love must still shine through

*you were always afraid to cry hope to see you through the night

you let your demons cloud your light hope to see you through the night*

afraid to feel his life in full was his excuse he chose the easy way he chose to lose

too numb to realize we cared about his life & that all that he needed was inside

**you gave up everything oh why hope to see you through the night

you couldn't live now i can't cry hope to see you through the night**


shying away from an ominous sky slipping from blue into red

twisting my thoughts of reality memories swirl through my head

yesterday scares me yesterday's filled with all of my sin

i fear for tomorrow tomorrow is someone i've never been

*this is my pain for today hope that it fades away must be some kind of escape hope that it fades away*

mourning the loss of my innocent self tearing my flesh from the bone

panic for all that's beyond my control knowing i'm more than alone

yesterday's faithful yesterday's trusting i can forgive

facing tomorrow tomorrow's desire is simply to live

pain pain go away come again some other day


too young to know better too old to understand i'm a broken man

running away from those who try to comprehend when i'm gonna end

*pray for me i'm going down wait for me i'll come around*

obvious reasons that i left you standing there bring a flood of tears

desperate action taken causes me to hide deceit my pride

**don't hate me on my way down pray for me to come around**


how could you forget all the things you said that brought me a purpose

have you lost your joy like a childhood toy a symbol of your innocence

*did i receive too much from you or leave you with nothing left to prove

don't hide your eyes or look so certain i fear your choices i've already tried

there's something here that you've forgotten i never want to hear the word goodbye*

now you seem surprised anger in your eyes from the void & emptiness

all this pain i feel it will never heal but i live to experience

don't say goodbye



lay with me it's warm inside i feel complete when you are by my side

lay with me awake through the night follow your lead i need you by my side

feel what i'm missing when i am kissing you love that i'm risking

my wounded heart with you i love the me with you

lay with me as our hearts collide joyful i weep now that you're by my side

prayerful & wishing i'm forever kissing you & constantly risking

my mended heart with you i love the me with you

lay with me & fill me with pride i feel complete following your lead

joyful i weep now that you're by my side



all songs written, recorded, performed & produced by abe laboriel jr

recorded @ sacred bovine studios in burbank, ca

mixed by adam hawkins

mastered by adam ayan @ gateway mastering

cover art by bill stewart